Vanity.

The definition of vanity from dictionary.com:

- excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities,achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit

The definition of vanity from LDS.org:

- Falsehood or deceit (Ps. 12:2; 24:4; 144:8, 11; Prov. 30:8). Empty, transitory, or fleeting (Eccl. 1:2–4; 12:8).

OK, the definitions pretty much go with each other. I think that for the one from LDS.org the part that says Empty, transitory or fleeting matches best with the one from dictionary.com and for what I am thinking matches best. 

I struggle sometimes with my self esteem. I see myself, in general, in a very negative way. I am constantly surprised that people think I am pretty or beautiful or whatnot. There are very few things about my physical appearance that I am happy with. With that being said, the things I do like, such as my nails and my hair, I am very vain about. I like when they look pretty, I love when people compliment me on them. I know that being vain about something is bad but for some reason I cling to these small vanities. 

In society these days it is hard to not dwell on your flaws. We are constantly being bombarded with images of what "society" considers beautiful. From makeup ads, hair commercials, ads for online dating sites, commercials for almost every product out there is it any wonder that many people never feel pretty enough, or good enough? Just now there was a commercial for some cleaning supply and in it were beautiful women cleaning their floors. Tell me, when was the last time you put on your Sunday best and did your makeup just so you can mop your kitchen floor? 

Then there are the actual television shows that are on these days such as Americas Next Top Model, Toddlers and Tiaras, Extreme Makeover, Desperate Housewives ect, ect. They show these women who are beautiful in there own right and if not then they are geared towards making woman over to be more in the image of what society considers beautiful. 

People invest in plastic surgery to "enhance" how they look or in some cases they completely change the way they look. People get nose jobs, botox, cheek implants, lip injections, breast augmentations, butt implants, calf implants and various other things. Is getting plastic surgery really worth it? Are people who get it done really happier with themselves? If they are willing to go to such extremes when will they stop?  

Many times I have met someone for the first time and saw the instant they decided they didn't like me based on how I look, many times this happens before I even say a word or even have a chance to show my personality. I can tell when it happens most of the time. Usually the person starts to smile and then the judgement forms and they loose the smile, their body language changes, they become closed off and in some cases they even refuse to look at me. It has happened many times and just as recently as the last time I went to the store. I can also say that most of the time when someone judges me instantly they have a very high opinion of themselves and are not afraid to let people know just what they think of themselves. Even my husband's (supposed) best friend judges me based on how I look and someone David is related to, by marriage, mentions how easy it is to loose weight if people would just work out every time I am around that person. 

I guess the point that I am getting at is, if I am constantly reminded that I am not good enough in "societies" eyes, is it really a bad thing to cling to the vanities that make me feel happy in the most fleeting of ways? 

With all that said, here is a picture of my fingernails. Aren't they pretty?! lol