Friday, February 11, 2011
How?
If you read my post from earlier you could kind of tell I was upset. What I do not know how to do is to stop being upset. I do not know how to stop feeling like I am not important to people and specifically my husband. I do not know how to stop being hurt. I know that he has issues expressing his feelings sometimes but what I don't know is how come it is so easy for him to disregard my feelings. What I DO know is that I love him more than I have ever loved anyone else and I want to make him happy, I also know that he needs to work on making me happy and instead of being just the taker in the relationship, he needs to start giving as well.
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2 comments:
i think it would benefit you greatly to see a counselor. i find that they are able to offer so many ways of looking at things and offer advice as someone not in the heat of the issues. they are trained and very insightful. all you can do is work on yourself and do your best to help him by being positive....not an easy thing to do. it's so easy to point out faults and criticize even if that isn't our intent. you can say 5 nice things and one bad and garanteed the focus goes to the bad part and we feel bad about ourself. unfortunately, i think david has been criticized his whole life, so that isn't going to motivate him, only shut him down further. there's an old saying of treat him the way you want him to be. treat him as if he is already that wonderful man you see he can be and maybe he will follow your lead. david will be a huge amount of work bc he has to want to change. bottom line though, you knew how he was already and you have to accept that for what it is in a sense and pray that he grows up with you. you have to love you first and work on being happy with you. i can only imagine the roller coaster of emotions you are on. thanks for sharting your thoughts and struggles. try to keep in perspective that our trials are for our good. inquire about a counselor, it would be so great for you. love, laura
Laura, Sorry that it has taken me so long to respond to your comment.
I have been through counseling before, not for the specific feelings I recently were having but for the issues that I went through as a child and such. I was so uncomfortable with the lady that we just sat there for the whole time and didn't say anything. The other times that I went to counseling the counselors told me and my family that it was my fault my sisters were running away and behaving badly. I have somewhat lost my faith in counseling as far as it working for me. I do think that I need help but finding someone I trust enough to talk to is the issue. I also think that counseling would benefit David a great deal and have mentioned us going to counseling together, just so that could better understand each other, not that our marriage is in danger. When I talk to David I usually try to keep positive, I try not to vent to him too much about the way I am feeling just because most of the time it is not his fault I am feeling that way, it is just the way I perceive things. Other things, like him talking to other girls and such I do confront him about. I try every time we talk to tell him and show him how much I think of him. Over the last couple of weeks with my "female" problems my emotions have been all over the place and I have been acting and thinking crazy, I realized that when it was happening but could not seem to stop it. Unfortunately, my blog seems to have suffered the most of the craziness. I am sorry for the craziness and hope next time it will not be so bad.
I did realize how David was when we got married but in some ways he has changed a great deal. We discussed it a while back and he actually brought up some points on how he has changed. Most of the change that he has gone through have been for the better, and as he continues to grow as a person I am sure that he will change even more. I pray that I am able to grow and change with him and that the changes bring us closer together. I do know that he loves me very much and that I make him happy, I hope that I continue to make him happy, at least as happy as he makes me (even if I don't sound like it, I am happy).
Love Tracie
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