Sobbing myself to sleep.

I had a really bad day yesterday. I had to get a filling done and they were not able to numb the tooth so for the whole thing I felt the pain of them drilling into my tooth. Then after that was all said and done the gums where I got the shots were starting to regain feeling in them and the pain from the shots was intense. To top it all off I have TMJ and the pain in my jaw from holding my mouth open for so long was so bad I was not able to even open my mouth enough to take a drink of water. I finally was able to take a pain pill at about 10:00p.m. but by 11:30p.m. the pain was still as bad as ever. I have to confess, by that time I was sobbing. On top of the physical pain I am missing David so much and am feeling like I have lost him forever. I guess the feelings I am going through right now can be compared to being in mourning for someone.

I sobbed and cried and was just praying for the pain to stop, for David to come home safe, for David to love me, be in love with me and to stay faithful to me. I kept repeating the same prayer over and over again. I even called my Mother but she was on her way to work. After a while I was finally able to calm down and lay down but if I moved my head my mouth would start hurting with the same intensity as before so I had to lay with my head as still as I could. Needless to say I cried myself to sleep but I woke up so often I feel like I did not get any sleep.

I do not know if I am strong enough to get through all these dental problems and I know when I have surgery it will be even worse for a while. All I know is that I need David very much and I wish he could hold me and tell me everything will be OK.