I find it hard to not just jump in the car and drive to a fast food "restaurant" when I am hungry. In part it is because I am very lazy and do not want to make myself something to eat. (Also a small part is that it is so depressing cooking for one). I constantly fight the temptation to just go "out" to eat and today I gave in to the temptation. I went and got a breakfast muffin from the King of Burgers. :( Now I feel so ashamed of myself and not only emotionally upset but physically upset as well. It seems as though the breakfast muffin is sitting in the bottom of my stomach like a rock. I feel sick to my stomach and I think I can place the blame on the breakfast muffin and by default that makes it my fault since I went and got it. Ugh, I hate to take responsibility sometimes.
I am still under my calorie goal for the day but not by much. I will have to eat really healthy tonight to make up for my morning trip down temptation lane. That is OK though because I have been craving a leafy salad.
I have decided that I need to get a bathroom scale but that I should not weigh myself every day. I think I should weigh myself once a week, on the same day around the same time. That way I could get a more accurate average of what changes my body is going through, if any. I am not rushing out today to get a bathroom scale, right now it is low on my list of things to do but eventually I will get one and when I do I will put on here my weight each time I do weigh myself.
I will tell you this, I am kind of embarrassed putting up such personal information on the internet because there are people I do not know that may stumble across this blog, read it and judge me based on my weight. I KNOW I am heavy, but I also know that a large part of that is due to the PCOS (Please read previous post with the link on it) and also because I was hit by a car as a pedestrian which really messed me up and made it very painful to live an active life. If there are people who know me that are going to read this and still judge me then shame on them! They should know by now how awesome I am! ;)
Ah well, I suppose I must stop being lazy and actually make myself something to eat for dinner tonight. So until next time, Ta Ta for now.
2 comments:
hey girl, i feel your pain on a lot of this. it is hard to not just go get something you are craving. it never tastes as good when you know it's not on the plan either. :( i will say this...if you have a cheat moment again, try to savor and enjoy it bc the guilt you feel towards what you did is just as bad as the food itself. i am trying to teach myself this as well. it's difficult to change our thoughts about food. have you ever seen the effects of words on water? google it on youtube..it is quite amazing! we need to be kind to ourself bc our bodies are mostly made of water and our thoughts affect us.
it is hard to write your personal feeligns in a public place so i applaud you! those that feel the need to judge, that is their own fault. you know you can make it private if you want though. i had mine set to private after finding out i was pregnant and have kept it that way so i have control over who is able to read my thoughts. i still worry about people judging what i say either for misunderstandign me or just being those kind of people. i think this is a great outlet for you and i look forward to getting to know you better. i love you! keep up the awesome work!!!!
Hey Laura,
I have had a "blog" for a while so that I can write David letters and he will be able to read them online, that one I have totally private with only him able to view it. This one I decided I don't really care who reads it and if they are nasty and leave mean comments I could always delete the comments. :D If people want to judge me based on what I write, that will be on their conscious, not mine. I am afraid sometimes that something will be misunderstood but I hope that if someone's feelings are hurt they will come to be instead of holding a grudge.
I try to not be so strict on my diet that I don't want to follow it at all but if I were to cheat I would rather it be something a little healthier than fast food! Maybe a lean pocket or something like that. Not only does it tend to taste better than fast food but it is also cheaper! I will look up the video on Youtube later tonight. Thank you for letting me know about it. Love and miss y'all.
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