My husband and I both love Wasabi peanuts. The initial pain or burn of eating a wasabi peanut is harsh enough to bring tears to one's eyes. Once, right after buying a bag of wasabi peanuts, David and I were driving home and as I was eating one my eyes started watering and my mouth was burning. I turned to David (with teary eyes) and said "Why do we do this to ourselves?" and then promptly ate another one. David thought that was hilarious and will still quote me to this day. The answer to that question is, despite the pain of eating the wasabi peanuts the joy after the pain is greater than the pain. I LOVE wasabi peanuts.
As I was scrubbing the kitchen floor today I was thinking about how painful this deployment has been for me. To be away from the person I love the most is terrible. For some reason I got a craving for wasabi peanuts and I can see the similarities between those and David being gone. The pain I feel as he is deployed or in training or any other reason the Army can think of to keep him from me is terrible. It brings tears to my eyes and I wonder to myself, why we are doing this to ourselves. The pain, loneliness, doubts, anger and sometimes even hatred (of being separated, not of David) is intense; it is sometimes all I can do to even get out of bed sometimes. In spite of all of those emotions I love my husband, I love our lives together and I am proud to be David's wife. I am proud of how far David has come and of how much potential he has.
I know that right now the pain is hard to get past, I know that I am struggling against all the negative emotions but I also know that the rewards of this life I have with David far outweigh this temporary situation. Seeing David grow as a person and as a soldier and to realize that he is able to do things he never thought he could do is so wonderful. To be married to such a wonderful man who is all of my dreams come true is one of my greatest treasures. David truly is my best friend, my better half and the man I want to spend eternity with. I love my soldier, he is my everything.
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