Giving up.

I told my husband yesterday that I was feeling neglected and that I was taken for granted. I told him this to try to make him understand that even though he does not need to talk to me every time he is able I need to talk to him. I give him so much, I am always available for him to talk to when he is down and I try very hard to support him without being negative.

The day before yesterday I was having a very hard day, I spent most of it crying and just really down and I told him I was having a rough day. At about 6am he had to go but said he would get back with me later. I never heard from him till the next day. When I asked him what happened he said some various things about being very busy. Then he said that he was speaking to someone via Skype (I was not mad about who he was speaking with). I asked him when that was and it was about 4 hours after he said he would get back with me. He never even bothered to try to get a hold of me.

Today I know he was online at least 2-3 times but again, no effort was made to contact me. I am tired of feeling like I am always put behind everything else. Even FB comes ahead of me. I am tired of giving him everything, support, love, time, effort and feeling like I do not matter. I give up on trying to make him see that he is pushing me away from him. I give up on trying to make him understand that I need to feel loved and right now I feel like he is indifferent towards me. I am just tired of feeling like I am not good enough for him to love. I give up.

I love my husband very much. I think he is a wonderful man and I tell him that all the time. I want to spend forever with him. I just do not think he feels the same way about me.

Update 04/06/2011:   David told me today that he did not feel like talking yesterday and that is why he didn't get a hold of me. My feeling about that is that I am so glad to know that this marriage is all about him and that he is not willing to support me or be there for me. (I am angry)