Thankful.

David has been having a lot of trouble where he is at. He has been getting in trouble and getting "smoked" a lot. He pretty much had given up on doing things write and was being very forgetful and just not wanting to be there. He was even talking about trying to get out of the Army once he got home and he was very depressed and despondent. It seemed that no matter how hard he tried to do right he was always in trouble. He got in trouble again one day for something that was not his fault and another Sargent walked by and saw what was happening again and told David's Sargent to transfer David to his squad. David said that the Sargent did not like the way that David was being treated. David was then transferred to another squad and since then has been doing amazing. His mood has improved. He is no longer a gloomy Gus and his outlook on his career is 100% better.

For the last couple of months (since David starting having so many problems) I have been praying and praying for Heavenly Father to help him out. I told David to pray and one day when I mentioned it he finally told me that he started praying again and reading the scriptures again. Shortly after he started to pray and read he was transferred. I am grateful that the change happened for David and that the prayers were answered.

Back to the squad thing, David mentioned that he felt sorry for one of his old squad mates. I asked why and he said that since he is in a new squad this other guy is getting smoked a lot and is in trouble a lot. The problem with that squad is the guys are letting their rank go to their head and get cheap thrills from torturing the lower ranking guys. It is a shame that happens because it makes the guys not want to do right, it makes them just want to give up and get out of the Army. It does not foster a sense of belonging or of loyalty.

That reminded me of a quote that I really like that I saw on David's new Sargent's FB wall.

"Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership. "
-Colin Powell

Also, on a happy note (for me) I talked David into going to the ball and because I didn't want him to change his mind I ran out today and bought my dress. That way if he says he does not want to go I can point out that I already spent the money on the dress!!!! haha

Sneaky and dishonest.

I do not like people who are sneaky and dishonest. That pretty much is my entire family so therefore you know I do not like my entire family.

There has been recent drama with my sister and aunt. I heard from a friend to watch out on FB because my sister has a fake profile (under a guys name) that she is using to get information about people who will not speak with her. I think it is sneaky, dishonest, rude and immature. If you want information about someone go to that person and ask. Do not lie about it. So I found out that this fake profile is a "friend" of my little sisters. While her and I are not close, the fact that I did not like that she was being lied to and that I do not agree with how Leslie is getting information, I called her and told her about the fake profile.

I also know that my sister is using the profile to talk to a girl that my aunt's ex husband (Troy) had a baby with after him and Davina (my aunt) got divorced but before they got back together. I was informed that Leslie is writing to this woman in a romantic way, getting close to this woman and that the woman has told the fake profile (Leslie) that she loves him and he (Leslie again) said it back to her. I feel that this is very hateful and hurtful to do to a person so I feel like I should write to all of the friends on this fake profile and let them know it is actually Leslie doing it. I also feel like I should send a message to Leslie via the fake profile letting her know that I emailed the people and I think what she is doing is shady.

One of the only reasons I do not do it (but I am seriously thinking about doing it) is that if I do that, the woman that had Troy's baby will get back in the middle of Troy and Davina's relationship, saying that Davina played a part in the lie. While I do not like Troy it is not my place to mess with their relationship. I feel like if I did email the friends on this fake profile then something happened in their relationship I would be responsible and I do not want to be responsible for causing trouble in anyone's relationship.

Oh, what to do, what to do????

...

The time is almost here where David will be home from deployment. There is already a ball scheduled for January and David informed me that he did not want to go. I went to Salina with Nikki the other day to look for a dress so she and her husband to go and since I was there I tried on a dress I liked. I feel in love with it. I actually felt like a beautiful person in the dress instead of a ball of nastiness. I really wanted to get the dress and go to the ball because I felt like a princess (something that has never happened before). David still said no. *sighs* oh well.

OMG!

Today, for giggles, I decided to take my measurements to find my correct bra size. It seems no matter what bra I buy it never fits right. So I got my measuring tape out and this is the conclusion

Band = 39
Bust = 50

So based on the calculations I am supposed to be either a 38J or a 40J! No wonder I have problems finding a bra that fits me, most stores only sell up to a DD.

SMH

Loaded with taste?

I recently went grocery shopping (gasp!) and picked up some cans of soup. With the promise of being "loaded with taste" and my appetite actually being present I was looking forward to having some yummy soup. I open the can, pour the soup in the pan, patiently wait for it to warm up and finally am able to put some in a bowl to enjoy. I sit down at the table loaded up with my bowl of soup, napkin, spoon, crackers and glass of ice water. I take a spoonful, greatly anticipating this soup that is "loaded with taste". I take my first bite and it taste like I am eating a spoonful of salt water. I was so upset.

When did being loaded with taste, or tasty or yummy or delicious become the same thing as being chalked full of salt, sugar or a combination of both? When did people start to dislike the taste of real food so much that they thought putting in too much salt to overpower the taste of the food was a good thing? Great, just when I start wanting to eat after years of not having an appetite the food is blah. :(

*sobs*

So I don't know if it is from being sick, missing David or trying to decide what to do but for whatever reason I find myself crying. A lot. I saw a commercial on T.V. that was advertising alcohol and I cried because of the image it gives little ones. I watched a horror movie and cried because the people got killed. I looked at my pretty socks and just sat there and cried and I have no idea why.

I kinda wish I had someone around that I can talk to but there is no one.

blah

I am sick, again. I have missed three days of school so far and with classes being so condensed and the cycles so short I may not be able to catch up with all three of the classes. I am considering just dropping the classes because I still feel really bad and will most likely not make it to school tomorrow as well. :(

I don't know if being sick is because of stress or if it is because it is simply going around again. I am not sure at this point if I even care WHY I am sick, just that I am.

Today is the 5th day that I have not been able to speak with David. I asked him (the last time I spoke with him) to call me if he is not going to have internet but so far he has not. I don't know if it is because he does not have service where he is (he has his cell phone) or if he just does not want to call. What I do know is that I miss hearing his voice.