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The time is almost here where David will be home from deployment. There is already a ball scheduled for January and David informed me that he did not want to go. I went to Salina with Nikki the other day to look for a dress so she and her husband to go and since I was there I tried on a dress I liked. I feel in love with it. I actually felt like a beautiful person in the dress instead of a ball of nastiness. I really wanted to get the dress and go to the ball because I felt like a princess (something that has never happened before). David still said no. *sighs* oh well.

OMG!

Today, for giggles, I decided to take my measurements to find my correct bra size. It seems no matter what bra I buy it never fits right. So I got my measuring tape out and this is the conclusion

Band = 39
Bust = 50

So based on the calculations I am supposed to be either a 38J or a 40J! No wonder I have problems finding a bra that fits me, most stores only sell up to a DD.

SMH

Loaded with taste?

I recently went grocery shopping (gasp!) and picked up some cans of soup. With the promise of being "loaded with taste" and my appetite actually being present I was looking forward to having some yummy soup. I open the can, pour the soup in the pan, patiently wait for it to warm up and finally am able to put some in a bowl to enjoy. I sit down at the table loaded up with my bowl of soup, napkin, spoon, crackers and glass of ice water. I take a spoonful, greatly anticipating this soup that is "loaded with taste". I take my first bite and it taste like I am eating a spoonful of salt water. I was so upset.

When did being loaded with taste, or tasty or yummy or delicious become the same thing as being chalked full of salt, sugar or a combination of both? When did people start to dislike the taste of real food so much that they thought putting in too much salt to overpower the taste of the food was a good thing? Great, just when I start wanting to eat after years of not having an appetite the food is blah. :(

*sobs*

So I don't know if it is from being sick, missing David or trying to decide what to do but for whatever reason I find myself crying. A lot. I saw a commercial on T.V. that was advertising alcohol and I cried because of the image it gives little ones. I watched a horror movie and cried because the people got killed. I looked at my pretty socks and just sat there and cried and I have no idea why.

I kinda wish I had someone around that I can talk to but there is no one.

blah

I am sick, again. I have missed three days of school so far and with classes being so condensed and the cycles so short I may not be able to catch up with all three of the classes. I am considering just dropping the classes because I still feel really bad and will most likely not make it to school tomorrow as well. :(

I don't know if being sick is because of stress or if it is because it is simply going around again. I am not sure at this point if I even care WHY I am sick, just that I am.

Today is the 5th day that I have not been able to speak with David. I asked him (the last time I spoke with him) to call me if he is not going to have internet but so far he has not. I don't know if it is because he does not have service where he is (he has his cell phone) or if he just does not want to call. What I do know is that I miss hearing his voice.

Right v.s. Easy.

Often I find myself having to make a choice between something that is right, or that is easy. It is so tempting sometimes to just go with the easy choice. Less stress, less headache, less heartache. It would be so easy to just get up and walk away from everything. To just say "forget it". To do the right thing is sometimes hard. It requires work, sometimes tears, pain and even faith. Faith that even though doing the right thing may be hard, it is right and good. Sometimes I just wish other people were more inclined to do the right thing instead of being selfish.

My pretty socks.

OK. Yes, I have an obsession right now with my socks. I like my socks. When I am down I look at my bright and colorful socks and cheer up a little bit.

My Favorite!!!

My second Favorite!

I don't like these as much but they still make me smile.

In school there are about 5 people who ask me what socks I am wearing every day I see them. They always smile and/or laugh when they see my socks. Sloame (a girl in class) says that they help brighten her day as well!